The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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