I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
