Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
