I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
