is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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