She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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