As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
