is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
