Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
