3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
