Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
