Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
