So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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