my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
