Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
