I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
What a dumb baby whore.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
