I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
