I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
