Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize