it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
