I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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