I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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