i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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