i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
