How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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