Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
