it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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