I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
