she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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