Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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