Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
