Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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