If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
