Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
