It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
