College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
