He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
