We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
