I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
