I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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