I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
