yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
