Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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