Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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