...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
