Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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