I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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