just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
