She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
