too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
