3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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