Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I would ride that face into the sunset
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
