Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
