Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
