i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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