I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hippo gnu deer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
