There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
