Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
