The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
