haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
