arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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